Anger. Rage. Fury. Tantrums. Hissy fits. Having a diva moment. The list is endless. Whatever you want to call it, it’s important to recognise that this a natural emotion that everyone feels at some point – or several – in their life. From being mildly irritated to a full on atomic bomb-like state, it can stem from or be sparked off by anything; even the littlest things.For many years of my life I was a very angry young person – I felt that this anger justified my behaviour, my actions, the way I viewed myself and others. But what I didn’t realise was the devastating impact it had on my well being, my self esteem and those around me until I got to the root of my anger and saw how much it had destroyed me.
It is very easy to be swept away in the white-hot surges of being angry at yourself, others, a situation you can’t control and/or the actions of others. Anger has the capacity to blind us: have you ever said things “in the heat of the moment” that you didn’t mean? Things that we end up regretting and think: “Oh God, I wish I hadn’t said that to so-and-so” or “It’s going to be so awkward when I next see so-and-so.”
Of course, it’s easier said than done, for me to say: “Let go” because 9/10 it’s not easy to even address anger or negative feelings. Especially if you’ve been feeling angry for years but have been unable to resolve it. I often imagine my anger to be a little monster or demon sitting in the depths of my stomach and when sh*t hits the fan, it sits up, growls and starts making a scene. It screams, shouts, tears at itself hoping that its ruckus will come out of my mouth and into the real world. I used to suppress it but that only made things worse because I ended up accumulating years of anger which ended up harming me more than anyone else.
It’s important try and understand the demon/anger. Why do you feel angry? What sets you off? It’s essential to try and develop a technique or habit where you can explain to yourself, why you’re feeling angry. You don’t have to sit down in a corner in the Lotus position saying various chants or stuff like that. Expressing yourself can be in any medium you want; painting, reading, writing, speaking aloud, recording your thoughts, exercising or confiding in close friends/family. However you decide to train your demon, one thing that you learn along the way is how to reconnect with yourself and emotions.
Part of dealing with anger is learning to get to know yourself and what sets you off. Anger has a horrible way of isolating people when they need help the most. How many times have you or someone said: “Look, just leave me alone I’m not in a good mood.” Fair enough, sometimes we do need time to work through the motions and clear our heads. But all too often the phrase, “two heads are better than one” comes to mind when trying to understand or deal with anger issues. Why? Because anger not only distances you from other people, but from your true self.
One thing I always say to myself and my friends is: “Always stay true to yourself.” If you can’t be honest with yourself, who can you be honest with? Emotions are a huge part of the human experience called life and they unfortunately dictate our actions.
You are the best. You are the worst. You are average. Your love is a part of you. You try to give it away because you can’t bear its radiance. But you can’t separate it from yourself.