Tonight’s post is unconventional, in terms of what I normally discuss. I regularly analyse, critique and dissect aspects of the South Asian Diasporic identity (in all of its glory across the world) as I attempt to make sense of it and do my best to help other South Asians view particular topics in a different light.
Every single week, I feel as though I’m about to go into cardiac arrest, for what I say and I am truly thankful for everyone who reads, supports and comments on my blog. You alleviate that anxiety and give me faith to continue writing about this.
Everywhere that I look on the Internet, everyone (and their mums) are writing out inspirational blogs that are a reflection on 2015, what they’ve learnt, how they’ve grown and what they think will happen in 2016. It’s lovely to see, and read, because they are sharing a part of their story with thousands of people on the Internet that they’ve probably never met or ever will meet.
I admire such people; they truly embody what it means to be a writer and it takes a lot more courage, skill and tenacity to write something than write nothing at all.
Whenever I look back on an AvidScribbler blog, I feel taken aback at how personal some of my posts have been this year. I remember the uncomfortable, swirling feeling in my stomach as it tied itself into knots and the burning sensation I get in my throat before I do something I’m not sure of.
You see writing is, and always will be, an act of defiance in some way shape or form. It’s a part of you which comes out onto paper, or a blog, which you then post onto the Internet at the mercy of the world. The best way that I can describe it is like ripping all of your clothes off and standing in the middle of a terrifying thunderstorm; helpless, frightened and vulnerable.
I understand that I’m probably not selling the craft of writing very well here (but then again I never was a natural salesperson!). But I can make this guarantee to you: it is worth it every single time.
It is worth feeling like my stomach is about to drop out of my body to write. It is worth feeling frozen with nerves as I read and watch people’s comments come in as they tell me how a blog made them feel. And it is worth experiencing that burning sensation, every time I open up my emails and read someone’s story that they have decided to share with me after reading a blog.
The latter doesn’t have to even come from my own blog; the beauty of our stories is that it takes courage to share them and that they will always have the capacity to inspire someone, somewhere in our world.
For the next week, I will be doing a mini series: “Project AvidScribbler” where I talk about aspects of being a blogger, a former journalist and my own personal story of where I come from and what has shaped me. I welcome you to join me, as I experience that same sense of paralytic fear and show another layer to who and what AvidScribbler is all about.